Monday, November 27, 2006

If I can't beat them, They should Join me!

Ang daming masaya ngaun. and I wish them all hell.

La lang. Unfair. unfair. Why does everyone have to show those smiles, and why does everyone have to let me hear those full laughs? You'll have your days, I tell you. And I'm telling you now these, all with beaming certainty.

Nah. Haha. I just realized. Wishing the general public some bad luck proves draining. Oh well. I'll let them be.

Acquired Facet

Out of extreme boredom and insomnia, which is a very unhealthy mix already, and some problems bugging me, I decided to straighten up and walk my spirits inside the house. A while ago, my twin brother was being given some harsh words by my father, reasons I wouldn't want to divulge, yet most are irrational, for me, that is.

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And the I saw our hamper filled with dirty clothes. And I had this urge to do the laundry. It was 11:30pm.

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Things have been too grave for me this weekend, and so far, I consider it the longest already. Never mind that I just spent the night with my two closest pals in UP village, where we did some lengthy discussions about what our lives have been and what great news we are into so far, never mind that I was happy to have finally tasted the sweet taste of alcohol down my throat, that it was exhilirating to eat fish crackers, some junk foods, together with your good ole pals, yeah. Never mind that. As of recent time, I'm into my deep trance. But it isn't a trance where the mind benefits more. I must say, my mind is reaching for my emotions.

I did it again.

Last saturday, I did again my supposedly, should've been forgotten sin. Aack! Whoever invented that word, i love you more today. I thought my morale was more intact. I thought i wouldn't give in to holy moley shit. I thought my abandonment of almost a year has paved the way for my being a good, normal, 19 year old teen. But I guess it has been, and it will always be that way for me. A cycle I cannot escape, no matter what advancements I make. Some kind of a one pace forward, two steps backward. And the result? "That hurts".

I met someone also last saturday. The feline seemed cute. I never thought I'd meet someone as fragile as that creature, although I have my eye on someone also with the same nature. For now, I have this utmost affinity towards seemingly feeble ones. At last, I have someone.

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I saw the dirty soapy water, and I thought of cleaning the bathroom floor. Sayang yung tubig na galing sa pinaglabahan. Baka magalit ang MWSS.

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Lately, i have not been talking to people outside my "two pals", except of course some text msgs I of course respond to. Some good souls who happened to remember that there is a certain "me" still breathing. That was nice. Real nice of them.

And there was dad, whom i can't really comprehend. My my my, where is our home headed, huh? And why do I feel everybody's weight on me? Are they all leaning on me? *The big sigh*

I'm just glad my 2 friends were there. We have the almost similar story. Just given more feminine touch.

Such is a Randyh-ish thought this Monday early morning. My thoughts all mixed up. I'm losing heart. My mind is all the more confused. I'm getting all impulsive. And I'm almost worn out. I feel I've just gotten past my prime.

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3pm. I finished my laundry. Our laundry. It reached 3 pails, all full. At last, I feel sleepy.

Don't ask me.

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Opposites attract. And others repel.

2 days ago..
Happy birthday to you, most beautiful one.
Hndi ka pa rin nagbabago. So likeable. I could not imagine how the world could have managed to handle such beauty.

"Magaling. Masaya ka. Masaya rin ako. at masaya rin tayong lahat". You always say that. Kahit nung magkasama tayo sa isang group. You were too cold, and too hot at the same time.

We could've been born friends first. But we didn't.

We'll remain acquaintances.

Monday, November 13, 2006

In the Extended Bull Run

Market pundits use the term "bull" (opposite is "bear") when pertaining to a stock market, or even a economy experiencing a long, extended, and significant gain. And the businessmen are on it now: "We are in a bull run".

Going back to those times, anyway, the
Philippines, once just second only to Japan in progress in the 50's and the 60's, deteriorated, and somehow missed the Asian Miracle in the late 80's, and early 90's. By then, the world was astonished by the "recovery", of the Asia, particularly those in the Southeast Asia, led by Singapore, Thailand, Malaysia, and Indonesia, together with the Philippines, and they were known as the new "East Asian Tiger Economies". The Philippines is actually a "tiger"cub.

The Philippines, under Fidel Ramos, after years of battling energy crises and 8-hour blackouts , enjoyed a budget surplus(which we hope to obtain in 2008 or earlier), a very healthy foreign trade, and a booming economy. Investors flocked, "hot money" flowed, the phisix is at an all-time high,interest rates were down, and although the peso was slowly rising, curency fluctuation was low. But this is bound to be cut short by the the
Asian Crisis, and aggravated by Estrada's mismanagement of the economy.

And now, under Gloria M. Arroyo, the tide made an upswing. The Composite index, dubbed as the second best Asian bourse, has just breached the 2800 psychological barrier , the level seen last July,1997. The Peso was at it's four month highs, at 49.65, appreciating at least 7%, making it one of Asia's best performing currency. The investors are returning, credit institutions, Moody's Standard and Poors, Fitch and the like have been upgrading their outlook to us, and our investment grade to stable from negative,the fiscal deficit is down to just 60 billion pesos. The middle-class is greatly stretching its numbers.

This is the
PSEi performance. Soon it will be reaching the ever- elusive 3000 psychological barrier. (Trivia": Did you know that the local bourse created a trillion pesos in its trading for the last few years? )




And this is the Philippine peso's performance. It has appreciated by some 7%-8% this year.


We've been growing for an average of 5.5% for 20 consecutive quarters, the longest in history. Inflation is in a low of 5.4%. And for the first time in years, we've been paying up our debts. The 4 trillion php we owe is being reduced. The ones we were paying then were merely interests.

And it won't be long 'till the poorest feels the improving economy. I hope that's not too long.

And as for me? I'm gonna be a
stockbroker. Buy! Hold!


Sunday, November 12, 2006

Makasalanan

As of the moment..

I have this thought that once I die, and give permission to those decomposers to eat their way to my body, I have this gut feeling that my soul wouldn't be heaven-bound. For the past 19 years of my stay here on earth, I can say that I've done super good deeds, kaya lang, ang dami din nung dooper bad deeds..Whatever you are thinking now, nagawa ko na yan.

And un na nga..I just came home. I've attended mass a while ago, turns out, sobrang late nman ako. I was actually meeting up with a friend, who happens to be my recent church-mate. Eh, ayun, offering of bread and wine na, and so, what's the sense of hearing mass, pa? I almost regularly attend mass whenever most possible kasi, I need a weekly dose of calmness, peace, and the like. Feeling ko ang dumi dumi ko pag hndi ako nakapagsimba.

After the mass, we decided to stay inside the church. She knelt, and I just remained seated. I grabbed the chance to pray for the needy, my family, friends, lalo ako. You know, I have this certain fear in praying, kasi one time I made one, and I said, "make me a better person the next day", akalain mo na nagdagsaan ung problema! That day, everything in me almost crashed.

I was conversing with my friend about her usual problems. Finally, she has a job, which is the same as mine, but at the expense of her studies. Anyway, I seconded her idea. Kailangan e. We parted ways after a few minutes more.

I thought of not going home muna, kaya I decided to see some goods sa Alabang. Grabe, the place was undoubtedly a mini-divisoria. Everything was already there, and you'd see people from all walks of life. Ako pa nman ung taong madaling makakilatis ng tao sa isang tingin pa lang.

And the goods?

Shorts, shoes, sandals, slippers, bags, necklaces, combs, cellphone housing, madami..but the thing that really caught my eye..

Pirated CD's and DVD's.

Wow..Andun lahat ng na-miss ko na programs sa free TV and cable TV. Koreanovelas, Animes, movies, even those not still shown in the big screens..Marie Antoinette, Happy feet, etc.

And there were those lewd, preposterous(ha?) cd's. Scandals, from all over the entire archipelago. Olongapo, zamboanga, cebu, davao, quezon city, and I wouldn't even be surprised if a certain "apayao sex scandal". But that would still be worth a laugh. Apayao? Or how about spratly's.

Ooops..kasalanan..no, get away from those..get away..get..GET..G..

"kuya, 40php lang", the woman said
"ha?"
"kuya, para sa'yo, dalawa, 70php.."
(I smiled at the woman, buti na lang buo ung pera ko..relief)

Para talaga akong tanga nun. The stalls there were jampacked with all those males. I was a bit ashamed. I should've turned to a different route. E malay ko ba, un ung daan papunta sa jeep. Then I saw a familiar face..haha..swerte..

"Ano ba ito, reward?"

I was on my way home, when I realized na the past 19 years of my life were full of decisions made impulsively, kaya nga it wasn't sequenced well. Although sometimes, even if the moment did call for those decisions, still, there was that alternative.

"Sus, aminin mo na, nag-enjoy ka naman"

Cguro, in a way. Hmm..oo.


Why am I always blinded by short-lived happiness?

Saturday, November 04, 2006

How the sand tasted like Peach Mango Pie.

And what binds 12 earth years and 12 minutes ago?

A memory. Some memories, perhaps, that I never thought that could and would unearth,(un-mars, or un-venus, whichever), themselves in a very unlikely moment.

And all because of the sight of bags of gravel and sand near our house. Obviously, someone's moving in.


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Because of the unusual heat that day, I decided to go outside the house, to the playground, and go busy myself with my usual playmates, some rocks, a few wedge-shaped and globular stones, bottles of 7-up's. I had no friend when I was little, which was of no problem for a 7-year old boy like me. I usually play with my twin brother, or worst, with my elder siblings. What could be worse than having your big brothers manipulating your every move, and not having the freedom to choose trash and dirty stuff over toys. Of course, I'd readily choose the former ones.

O child, how curious you must be.

The playground was quite empty. No other kid around. The place was all mine.

Put some sand into the bottle, and the stones. Whatever.'Twas fun anyway.

Oblivious to me, someone was also there. A little girl. Turns out, she owned the bottles. But she was kind enough to share them with me. There were no instant conversations. Just plain fooling around with bottles.And stones. And sand.

She was a constant playmate. Though sometimes, I could see her mingling with other kids around, she never abandoned our territory. With the sands.

That was vacation. Then schooldays started.. And along with it, the rain.
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Back in Pasig, La Immaculada Concepcion School was a good school. My parents thought it is. And probably, so did her parents. And why is that? We became classmates. After sometime, we were friends. Next thing we knew, she was the first bestfriend outside the family I had, or so I remembered.

She was there when our teacher gave me a mild scolding for not winning the spelling bee.

"Bakit ka pinagalitan ni Ma'am?"
"Natalo ako sa quiz bee e. Mali ung spelling ko ng huling word. "
"Anong word?"
(The word then was bouquet. I wrote it in my little chalkboard)
"Mali ako e. Akala ko Vocay."
"ano kaya yan?"
"Hindi ko din alam.Hindi tinuro ni ma'am."

I was there, too, for her when there were rumors about a headless priest showing up in the girl's restroom. It seemed credible, after all, the school was run by religious men. I escorted her to the CR, and we bravely fought our fears, just for her comfort. That was scary, I can still remember 3 cubicles with their doors painted with a white cross.

We exchanged foods most of the time, and sometimes, her food was more palatable than mine, and I'd run to the next room to share it my twin brother.

And sometimes, we'd wait for my service van to arrive, and for any reason, I couldn't recall how we'd spent the spare time.

But I guess, good things end. She became closer with her girl pals. There was Princess Ann Ramos, who is the ultimate crush in the room, and they became BFF's. I was, on the other hand, enjoyed myself with a fat boy I remember as Benedict, and a kid who looked like the "Prince". You know, the singer.

I was a grade one student at that time. And I stayed a kiddo there, who stayed for a year. We had to move to our present place now. Muntinlupa.

There were no goodbyes. We just passed, and nobody noticed.And so, no pains.
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I got myself some grains of sand. How fine they were. In its texture, and in color. But it was hot too, maybe because of the sun's glare.

Thanks, Paula for the bottles, and the sand. And for making my stay in our section, Peach Mango Pie, an enjoyable one.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Inggitero.

I was bloghopping when I came across some entries. And so, the jealous side of me surfaced, and chedeng, here goes..

Happy Halloween peeps!

QuizGalaxy!
'What" will your obituary say?' at QuizGalaxy.com



eto pa..


Mga batang isip (Part 3)

I'm just too lazy to continue the overnight thingy.

Anyway, we woke up 10:35 am, and I've had the shortest sleep amongst them. But that's fine.We had pagkatapos some chit-chat, about what happened last night, who was swept under the bed, who pinned my belly, who was tulo-laway(eeek..)...afterwards, we had our late breakfast/early lunch..We had some talks, of course, at the meal..nag-agawan pa kami sa remaining strand of pancit canton. Pati ung nursing leakage was tapped, kasi Franz is a nursing undergrad sa Makati med, and along with that was all the artistas she has seen, she has administered with some blood pressure readings, pati si Dingdong Dantes na gwapo dw! ang korni kaya... She said sobra daw gwapo, na hndi dugyutin, na iba daw ung frame nia..whew!

After that, we prepared for home, took a bath(separately!), watched each other, and then walked some miles. The we headed for home.

Ay nako, tinatamad na ako magkwento..hehe..