Seven Severities
Uh. Updates? Hmmm.. For wednesday, everything went to a slow. The day waaaas slow. But it was relatively fine. Just a few disappointments. *sigh* What do I expect?1. Yay. Just had a minor argument with an overseas aunt. Tsk. Over the phone. Details would be spared from divulgence. It was, uh, normal naman. I mean, I had to assert myself. And weave a bunch of lies. She was a bit stern, but I kept on convincing myself and her for the reasons of my stay. I just felt a bit bad that all was in the works already, only one was pending. Ayan ha. 2. Finished some papers. And started working on my last project. Uggh. It drained me. 3. It would seem that the funds I am expecting would be delayed. I'm running low! Wahaha. Lately, I coerced myself to do a little audit of my expenditures, followed by a few grimaces. And I throw some of the receipts. One time, my mom saw them, and went to her rare monstrosity. 4. Speaking of my Mom, we haven't been much into speaking terms lately. Must've been that incident. She accused me for being arrogant. Haha. I think that was funny. It must be true. Ayus lang. Ma, I miss you. And 'wag na kasi paranoid, ok?5. I went ballistic a while ago. The 1-km stretch that is the Alabang Rotonda did it. The traffic! It rivals EDSA! I was gaping at the horror of staying for almost an hour inside the jeepney. See 1km. There's no logic. And here's my favorite part. When I finally decided to walk, guess? The vehicles moved. And voila. No traffic. Another evidence of planetary conspiracy. Makes me wonder. 6. Learnt of a news. Gaaad. 7. Earlier this morning, Jerico got me into thinking, and it made me extremely weak. My knees were literally trembling. Haay. Saka na yan. Feeling ko, mauulit na naman ang trahedya ng highschool. Labels: -ber, Confusions, List, Mid-October, Updates, Weak
The Leave-er and the Leave-ee
For the past months, it never ceased to amaze me, I mean, the wonders and the bonkers of the thought of someone leaving ahead of others. I've always been fascinated with how people cope with this one, and particularly shattered, of course, when bonds tightly kept are abruptly cut. I'll share with everyone these lines from a blog I used to visit."...naisip ko lang kanina, napakaswerte ng mga taong umaalis. kahit mapipilitan silang iwanan ang mga mahal nila, may bagong lugar upang bumuo muli ng panibagong buhay. ngunit paano naman ang mga naiiwan? ang hirap gumising na lamang at mapapansin mong pareho parin lang buhay. eto parin ang buhay na kinagawian mo. ang tanging nagbago ay wala na siya. narito ka parin sa lugar na makapagpapaalala sa'yo ng mga sandaling kasama mo siya. mahirap lalong lumimot, bumitaw at kumawala sa mga alaalang pumapako sa'yo sa mahal mo..."Everytime I come across this one, I feel a pang hit my stomach. It seems that the writer has an inexplicable wanting for that someone already bound to leave. Tsk. Attachments. Too much victims in this world already. More members, eh?Sometimes, I would tell Jerico the sadness of the person leaving. I think it surpasses even the sum total of those who would be left behind. When Johann left the trio, we were devastated. But I think it was more for him. For a single person, it would be too much to bear. Time would tell that these people would grieve, and then, time would heal the wounds, and then, they forget. They could regroup, and bond even more. As to the one who left? A new environment, a new start, a new everything. Start from scratch.Nabibigyan ng pagkakataon yung mga naiiwan to seek solace from one another. They could still be in normality since they still have one another, just minus one. It's rather sad that the solution to every ache and pain has to be forgetting. And with that, the person associated with it.It's quite funny that people make up for lost time just to compensate. Rosa, it's sweet you've gone out of your way just to express sentiments. I thoroughly appreciate that. And don't worry, for the person you are addressing in your journal, you are one of the reasons why the other side has to be considered. Don't worry about our pact. I'm sure, you could do it.I'm just waiting for the verdict......And the words of that one person recently wielding the single biggest influence in my life. I will be hanging on to these..Labels: -ber, Journey, Mid-October, Sadness, Thoughts
Accio, 2nd Vengeful Spirit!
I was extra furious a while ago, because of the sudden downpour of rain, which was the reason I was drenched in cold rainwater. I planned to go strolling, and I found myself aboard a megataxi. I wasn't headed for an exact place, actually. I just want to go away, far away from my known reality. I prefer to call it, pagtakas. I was escaping from my reality, and I couldn't think of anyone to tag along, and pour out my sentiments with, since everyone, literally everyone, was busy and preoccupied with their own qualms. And since that's the case, then there's no reason letting anyone know yours. Di naman ako galit. Nagiging choosy na lang talaga ako.There it goes again. The old feeling I once harbored. Paulit ulit na lang talaga. Parang sirang plaka, if ever I'd rant about it. Oftentimes, I enjoy holding grudges. It let's you see people in a different light. Or in the dark. I once tackled the feelings of being in the unknown. I've been there. The beauty of being in it is far outweighed by its beastliness. I'm wondering where I should stand. If I should give this much, or more. I am seeking a refuge, and I want it under your wings. Nah. Labo. Labo. Labo. You know, this feeling, is far exceeded by any Sword of Damocles hung above your head. Or probably being tantalized. So near, yet kilometres apart."People trust me with their secrets. But who do I trust with mine?" --Barbara Covett [Judi Dench] Notes on a ScandalLabels: -ber, Confusions, Resurgences, Sadness
the passerby bleeds
You try to forget some ill-fated moments, some of which are doomed for failure even at the beginning. While others are constantly complaining with why the clocks have seemingly stopped ,when all they are relying upon is the healing prowess of time, the greater majority has been spared. You so eagerly await for days. And days become weeks. And then months. And semesters. And all was well.
I passed by the the PSE kanina. I was planning to go to Greenbelt to watch an Indie film. 'Twas very early then, and I had the impulse to just watch. Kaya lang, the minute I planted myself on the seat, it probably had grown roots.
Going back, I glared at the building which houses the local bourse. Funny it seems that people just pass by it without even taking a sec to glance. Kind of taking it for granted. If they just know that this one gave me my very first job as a quasi-advertising agent in ATC. If they just know that they serve Risotto with Radicchio and Gorgonzola. And that this one generates lots of money.
And if they just know this place was once a sanctuary. And hell, I'm missing this place.
Memories. They'll remain as they are.
*currently listening to Yellowcard's Everywhere*
Labels: Resurgences, Thoughts
-ber month ahead
Unang araw ng September. Tsk. Pasko na ulet!!Grabe. Inaapoy na ako ng lagnat. At nasa office pa ako. Full shift daw. 9pm to 6am. Mantakin mo nga yun. Galing ko daw sabi ng officemates ko. At, patong patong na yung jacket at kumot para hindi masyadong lamigin. Pero nanunuot pa din yung malamig na hangin. Terible. Naka-ilan na kong antipyretic at nasal decongestant. Bumabagsak na yung talukap ng mata ko. Grabe. Kaantok. Weekend na! Yey!The fever has finally made its way, at last. Ayun nga sa warcraft, Wicked sick! Dominating! Mega kill! Mooooonster Kill!Labels: -ber, dota, sickness
