Garbage. Trash.
December 26. A day after Christmas. You shall go down in history as.. uh. memorable day. Well, first and foremost, for no reason. I kept on recalling whatever has happened earlier, I mean, to substantiate or even justify this feeling. And just to set things straight, I think there's no single reason for this. They could be a conglomerate of many many many many super many things, so many, I couldn't identify them.1. Ate tons of pasta. Spaghetti. And white sauce. There was also macaroni. And how about lasagna? Does anyone have a past study about overeating pasta? Coupled with barbecues and hotdogs and choco mousse cake and choco bars with...uhh.. yuck..peanut. And menudo. There. 2. Watched. Again. The series of Grey's anatomy. I was literally glued to the TV screen and the dvd player hummed for hours. I've instantly influenced Kuya Dennis and Randolfh and they were with me, sitting, for hours. My Kuya Anthony was in a fighting mood, he wanted to watch but he had to go through the three of us. Actually, just my presence is more than enough. I just had to give hm the stern look. Barring unforeseen provocations, I would have gone mad and literally stabbed him from the behind. Seriously.3. PC games. And the hell, I kept on losing on every attempt on every game. What's wrong with the world? Lemme win! World, nakakailan ka na a.4. Slept. Freakin 2 hour afternoon sleep. I was awakened when I felt my chin was wet. I thought it was a drool, and I freaked out. Turns out, somebody played prank. Hell. The occupants of the house are 20years and OLDER. 5. Fortunately, watched MSKM. Goodness, I missed thee! Saviour ka, Jackie and Celine! Pati si Monique, akalain mong bananas in pajamas daw kayo ni Veron? Hahaha.6. Did marathon texting. And I dunno. It was by far, not that enjoyable. Haha. Ok naman. But I wasn't in the mood. But I just texted. And texted. My fingers are designed for the cellular keypads. See this one? Grimace. 7. Went to work. By far, the most unfortunate. The very presence of these people trigerred probably the sense of being alone. Which is ironic. That theory again. I just want to go home. And I wish those residents not picking up their phones overseas would be dead meat. Rotten. You make everyone's track record dismal. Include me there!Lots of sigh. I'm not even sad. Actually, I'm more of troubled. I was asking Jerico what the hell is this. He couldn't even decipher, to my relief. Buti na lang. Walang makakaalam. Kahit ako. And take note, everything else seems stable. I feel as if this is another of those planetary conspiracy. Hello! Is this another of those cosmic jokes?! Favor, do me a fa-a-a-avor. Exclude me, kahit ngayon lang!Labels: troubled
Embodiment
Eating spree. I've been on it lately. Seems as if I've got another living creature inside of me, even a black hole, and apparently, it has been draining me the energy vital to me and the food I take in. It isn't an understatement that I eat almost every hour, the kind we call heavy meal. Rice, bread, junkfoods, coffee, mango juice, fast food stuff, pork, beefs, fish... and they all go down to my stomach. And the hell, I don't get fat, when I really should be getting fat!What's even more frustrating is seeing the money dwindle into what, single digits? Haha! All spent on food items. I remember Blythe, as we were dining the other day, and eating yet another slice of pizza, "Eto lang naman ang pinagkakagastusan ko e. Food. " See. I'm all hungry now. I want this and that. Hey, is that food?!Antakaw ko na. Haha. Maybe. Kaya siguro ganun. Malay ko ba. Di ko naman kasalanan na magmatakaw. =)I am bound for hell. And Gluttony shall be my passport. Haha! Labels: Food
Nonsense. Just Nonsense.
I commiserate with soulmate elysse's issue at hand. Apparently, she's been quite physically tired with what she's been doing lately. More so that it is routinary. Sometimes, it helps that things don't fall that much on schedule or on a planned basis. I love surprises, obviously, but only those that fall within the bounds of good news. I shall list all the things that happened today. 1. Attended a class originally at 11:30am, but moved temporarily at 8:30am. Not surprisingly, I am 40minutes late. I am an early riser, but I move slow. Real slow. It takes me some 45minutes inside the restroom. (may nakakaalam nito. haha.)2. Finished off a report. The last for this year. Yey. One word. Gung-ho. But I think it went well.3. I feel bad eating too much this day, splurging half of the money in my wallet. I'm easily enjoined by my peers to eat, again and again, in 30minute or less intervals. Good thing I've got a very active metabolism. But I think I am sick.4. Blythe. She made me frown. And laugh. Blythe, your powers no longer affect me. I've gone numb! haha! Or we've just been close. I just realized that it is becoming entirely easy eliciting some emotions from you. And I'm enjoying it.5. Rosa. You took me to church. Malate church. Thanks. Wala na ako masabi. Di na din tayo mapaghiwalay.6. Lovely and Alaine. For keeping me busy. And alaine, si stearic effect. Naalala ko na naman. Tinatablan na naman ako. haha!7. ... O ayan ha, wala akong sasabihin.Hehe. This one is pointless.
Effortlessly
Hindi inaasahan, pero hindi ko alam kung ikatutuwa ko ba ito. O ikapanghihinayang. Di ko alam. Pero dahil napapangiti ako. Ahhhhh. Wala. Parang biglaan naman. Pero siguro matagal nang naipon. Napapangiti na lang ako. I'll just take the backseat and watch this one unfold kahit ako din naman ang main lead. Natatawa na lang ako. Nakakapagtaka. Time really does fly when you are enjoying nga talaga. At interestingly, as ann so profoundly put it: Nonchalance. Ignore. Nonchalance. Salamat.(Puta. Lemme watch MSKM!!!!!)
Admonish
.... In a few days, I would at least be breathing out a sigh for the year that was. Come to think of it, my 20th year of walk and journey on this planet is finally making significance. All the tumult, the happiness, the sacrifices, the misunderstanding, the indecisiveness, the maturity and inert immaturity, the security, the tenure, the smiles, the frowns. Extreme joys. And my being on the road, but mostly, getting off the road. They all account for the year that is about to end in a few days.
I haven't posted yet my wishlist. It would be utterly late, but I would still do so in the next few days.
.. masyadong matagal ang maghapon, kaya maraming mangyayari. Pano pa kaya ang isang araw? O isang linggo? Isang buwan? dalawang buwan? kalahating taon? Lahat ay magbabago. Maaari. Hindi natin alam. Maaaring may magbalik. Comeback, sabi ko nga kay soulmate. Ewan ko ba. Nakakaturete isipin.
Maaari bang ang inipon ng ilang taon ay mawala sa isang buong maghapon? Malabo. Hindi siya magandang isipin. Hahaha. May naalala tuloy ako. Isang pangako na lagi ko na lamang naiisip. Isang bagay na hindi ko alam kung maipagmamalaki ba.
..Ako ang huli. Palagi.
Magandang gabi. Halos. Pero hindi masyado.
Touché
I dunno.I just have to do away with much much thinking. I'm reaching the absolute limit and if I'd pursue with this much much thinking, it would all seem asymptotic, if graphed. Dalawa lang nman yan e. Either being benign or malignant. I've been the former one. Is it finally time to go for the latter? Unfortunately, not the right idea. Sometimes, you just have to keep your mouth shut in order to survive. Or just look on and wait for your turn. Like being a toddler. The difference is, you cannot simply demand for the food. Because the food is for a hell lot of people. You need to wait. And wait. And wait. This is fast becoming a hobby, really. Anyway, this one shouldn't be a problem after all. Waiting. It's easy. Damn easy. Fucking easy. But if this is the world's context of easy, then destiny forbid me but I'm eager for the difficult areas. No. This isn't a rant. And I'm not being whimsical. My amygdala has been under great pressure lately. I wouldn't be surprised if in the future, I'd run out of fear. Recently, I've had my life's share of fear, and they are quite gigantic. If there's only a hand I could clutch, then everything would be surmountable.This night, I would have to hold my own hand. It kills me to know I'm feeling this way. And it's so hard not to show it. But I'll try. Wala naman kasi akong magagawa e. diba?
