Makasalanan
As of the moment..I have this thought that once I die, and give permission to those decomposers to eat their way to my body, I have this gut feeling that my soul wouldn't be heaven-bound. For the past 19 years of my stay here on earth, I can say that I've done super good deeds, kaya lang, ang dami din nung dooper bad deeds..Whatever you are thinking now, nagawa ko na yan.
And un na nga..I just came home. I've attended mass a while ago, turns out, sobrang late nman ako. I was actually meeting up with a friend, who happens to be my recent church-mate. Eh, ayun, offering of bread and wine na, and so, what's the sense of hearing mass, pa? I almost regularly attend mass whenever most possible kasi, I need a weekly dose of calmness, peace, and the like. Feeling ko ang dumi dumi ko pag hndi ako nakapagsimba.
After the mass, we decided to stay inside the church. She knelt, and I just remained seated. I grabbed the chance to pray for the needy, my family, friends, lalo ako. You know, I have this certain fear in praying, kasi one time I made one, and I said, "make me a better person the next day", akalain mo na nagdagsaan ung problema! That day, everything in me almost crashed.
I was conversing with my friend about her usual problems. Finally, she has a job, which is the same as mine, but at the expense of her studies. Anyway, I seconded her idea. Kailangan e. We parted ways after a few minutes more.
I thought of not going home muna, kaya I decided to see some goods sa Alabang. Grabe, the place was undoubtedly a mini-divisoria. Everything was already there, and you'd see people from all walks of life. Ako pa nman ung taong madaling makakilatis ng tao sa isang tingin pa lang.
And the goods?
Shorts, shoes, sandals, slippers, bags, necklaces, combs, cellphone housing, madami..but the thing that really caught my eye..
Pirated CD's and DVD's.
Wow..Andun lahat ng na-miss ko na programs sa free TV and cable TV. Koreanovelas, Animes, movies, even those not still shown in the big screens..Marie Antoinette, Happy feet, etc.
And there were those lewd, preposterous(ha?) cd's. Scandals, from all over the entire archipelago. Olongapo, zamboanga, cebu, davao, quezon city, and I wouldn't even be surprised if a certain "apayao sex scandal". But that would still be worth a laugh. Apayao? Or how about spratly's.
Ooops..kasalanan..no, get away from those..get away..get..GET..G..
"kuya, 40php lang", the woman said
"ha?"
"kuya, para sa'yo, dalawa, 70php.."
(I smiled at the woman, buti na lang buo ung pera ko..relief)
Para talaga akong tanga nun. The stalls there were jampacked with all those males. I was a bit ashamed. I should've turned to a different route. E malay ko ba, un ung daan papunta sa jeep. Then I saw a familiar face..haha..swerte..
"Ano ba ito, reward?"
I was on my way home, when I realized na the past 19 years of my life were full of decisions made impulsively, kaya nga it wasn't sequenced well. Although sometimes, even if the moment did call for those decisions, still, there was that alternative.
"Sus, aminin mo na, nag-enjoy ka naman"
Cguro, in a way. Hmm..oo.
Why am I always blinded by short-lived happiness?
posted by Randyh @ Sunday, November 12, 2006
Comments: 0
