Acquired Facet
Out of extreme boredom and insomnia, which is a very unhealthy mix already, and some problems bugging me, I decided to straighten up and walk my spirits inside the house. A while ago, my twin brother was being given some harsh words by my father, reasons I wouldn't want to divulge, yet most are irrational, for me, that is.--------------------------
And the I saw our hamper filled with dirty clothes. And I had this urge to do the laundry. It was 11:30pm.
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Things have been too grave for me this weekend, and so far, I consider it the longest already. Never mind that I just spent the night with my two closest pals in UP village, where we did some lengthy discussions about what our lives have been and what great news we are into so far, never mind that I was happy to have finally tasted the sweet taste of alcohol down my throat, that it was exhilirating to eat fish crackers, some junk foods, together with your good ole pals, yeah. Never mind that. As of recent time, I'm into my deep trance. But it isn't a trance where the mind benefits more. I must say, my mind is reaching for my emotions.
I did it again.
Last saturday, I did again my supposedly, should've been forgotten sin. Aack! Whoever invented that word, i love you more today. I thought my morale was more intact. I thought i wouldn't give in to holy moley shit. I thought my abandonment of almost a year has paved the way for my being a good, normal, 19 year old teen. But I guess it has been, and it will always be that way for me. A cycle I cannot escape, no matter what advancements I make. Some kind of a one pace forward, two steps backward. And the result? "That hurts".
I met someone also last saturday. The feline seemed cute. I never thought I'd meet someone as fragile as that creature, although I have my eye on someone also with the same nature. For now, I have this utmost affinity towards seemingly feeble ones. At last, I have someone.
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I saw the dirty soapy water, and I thought of cleaning the bathroom floor. Sayang yung tubig na galing sa pinaglabahan. Baka magalit ang MWSS.
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Lately, i have not been talking to people outside my "two pals", except of course some text msgs I of course respond to. Some good souls who happened to remember that there is a certain "me" still breathing. That was nice. Real nice of them.
And there was dad, whom i can't really comprehend. My my my, where is our home headed, huh? And why do I feel everybody's weight on me? Are they all leaning on me? *The big sigh*
I'm just glad my 2 friends were there. We have the almost similar story. Just given more feminine touch.
Such is a Randyh-ish thought this Monday early morning. My thoughts all mixed up. I'm losing heart. My mind is all the more confused. I'm getting all impulsive. And I'm almost worn out. I feel I've just gotten past my prime.
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3pm. I finished my laundry. Our laundry. It reached 3 pails, all full. At last, I feel sleepy.
Don't ask me.
posted by Randyh @ Monday, November 27, 2006
Comments: 0
