Lost Soul
Last night, I was very much in a state of oblivion. I hurriedly went out of the house to walk along the streets. It was 1am. The cool breeze complemented the cool water which hugged my whole body under the showers a few minutes ago. Cool. Such coolness against the warmth of my body. I quickly crossed my arms across my chest. I had to walk. I had to.I came across a small place with drunkards happily chattering the hours away. They were noisily banging their hands on the table whenever they made their points. Such sundry discussion during the wee hours of the night. The plates, full of those meats and the like, were clattering every now and then due to the crowded space they occupy. I do not know why I was staring at them for like a minute or so, taking note of what they were doing up to each detail. It seemed like a movie, although it isn't particularly riveting. Not at all. Actually, it was closest to boring. But then, it was a good choice since I had nothing better to do at home. I've just finished the book I know I will always love, and sleeping isn't an option yet. It's another one of those nights I know I am very much good into, lazy summer nights spent staring into space in a stupor. Tonight, is different a situation since I've told myself it is better to stare at all those moving objects in a stupor, than it is to stare into space in the same stupor. So here I am now.
I passed by them after a while. I needed to walk. To calm my spirits. I needed to wail as well, but I had no one to at the moment. During these so-wanted-to-forget times, I want to talk. Endlessly. But something was stopping me from doing so. I felt the usual thorn stuck down my throat. I let out a whimper. I had to admit it. I was lonely. I was miserable. I was drowning.
After a while, I tried to compose myself. Inevitably, this is where I was headed for anyway, so why not make it now. I trudged my way back home. I let out a soft sigh as I tried to memorize everything I could lay my eyes on. I don't know for how long, I don't know why I even accepted it. Within me, I had the answer, but I'm afraid all I had were premature reasons.
Retreating to my bed, I felt a sense of nostalgia hovering over me. I looked at my phone. A few texted back, at least. I had to remember their faces, forgetting them was dreadful.
I tried to sleep. It was the best option. It was heavy. And after almost 2hours, I finally got myself into sleeping. Probably my last here. :) Thanks. Thanks. Thanks.
Labels: Events, Resurgences, Sadness
posted by Randyh @ Monday, April 28, 2008
Comments: 0
