Uncouth
Earlier..At about a quarter past 8am, I was nearing Padre Faura, apparently late for my meet. The bus which bragged of its supposed airconditioned mech, failed to deliver the service. It was too humid and hot inside, that it was sweltering. I stood in preparation of my going off the bus, when suddenly, behind me, was this massive woman, who was amazingly irksome. And so.Woman: Excuse me.Me: *walked further towards the bus door* Woman: Excuse.Me: *to myself* hindi ata niya nagets na bababa din ako. Tanga lang.Woman: *louder* excuse?Me: Miss, pare-pareho lang tayo bababa, wag kang excited, ok?....And so, my beautiful day started. Blame it to that pending heat wave.Labels: Events
"Enjoy Life. There's plenty of time to be dead. "Enthused by my cutesy friend Danica. Apparently, it kind of seemed like a running joke then. Well, sabagay, in the land of the living, it's easy to die, to kill, or take away life. On the other hand, mahirap bumuhay ng patay na. To un-die someone, if there's such a phrase. To die, just so simply means, coming to a complete halt. We cry when people dear to us leave us for some place else. Going out of the country, or relocating someplace else, it doesn't matter. For the many of us, physical contact is just as important. Tangibility. And again, just like the aforementioned, when this comes to a sudden stop, we are stunned. Actually, what dawns first is the sudden stop. And then, we don't know what to do next, how to act, how to respond, because it is our first instinct is to adapt, first at hand. That is just temporary leaving. Places. Earth-bounded. And then comes, the permanence. And we call it Death.With the recent string of events, a neighbor on the verge of dying due to a terminal illness, an old teacher suffering from ESRD (End-stage renal disease), and the heart shattering demise of some of my friends' pals, I couldn't let these things pass by without me mulling over the subject. Actually, it really is difficult, even for me who's not directly hit by the grief. And to this note, how much more to the closely related?Death may sound bad. Even fearsome. I am scared as well. Scared as hell. I don't know to where I am bound to just in case. And I know, this sentiment is shared by the majority. Una-unahan lang talaga, in the race, where no one wants to take the lead. And then the others go , prepared, while some, are gotten, at the snap of the finger.I am not promulgating anything for my recent post. I just felt it rightful that I give my share, and to pour my musings. This may sound mawkish, but this is another current reality we have to face. Because it happens. At any given time.I dedicate this post to EJ, and to the friend of Soulmate Karen. I don't know if I have the right, but since you've made them happy during your lifetime, then, I owe you a part of their goodness. You may not know me, might not ever heard of me, but since you make an impact to them, I could almost feel the waves you've made.See you at the afterlife! And just so you know, you are loved. :)Labels: Current Issues, Death, Events, Sadness
Lost Soul
Last night, I was very much in a state of oblivion. I hurriedly went out of the house to walk along the streets. It was 1am. The cool breeze complemented the cool water which hugged my whole body under the showers a few minutes ago. Cool. Such coolness against the warmth of my body. I quickly crossed my arms across my chest. I had to walk. I had to.I came across a small place with drunkards happily chattering the hours away. They were noisily banging their hands on the table whenever they made their points. Such sundry discussion during the wee hours of the night. The plates, full of those meats and the like, were clattering every now and then due to the crowded space they occupy. I do not know why I was staring at them for like a minute or so, taking note of what they were doing up to each detail. It seemed like a movie, although it isn't particularly riveting. Not at all. Actually, it was closest to boring. But then, it was a good choice since I had nothing better to do at home. I've just finished the book I know I will always love, and sleeping isn't an option yet. It's another one of those nights I know I am very much good into, lazy summer nights spent staring into space in a stupor. Tonight, is different a situation since I've told myself it is better to stare at all those moving objects in a stupor, than it is to stare into space in the same stupor. So here I am now. I passed by them after a while. I needed to walk. To calm my spirits. I needed to wail as well, but I had no one to at the moment. During these so-wanted-to-forget times, I want to talk. Endlessly. But something was stopping me from doing so. I felt the usual thorn stuck down my throat. I let out a whimper. I had to admit it. I was lonely. I was miserable. I was drowning.After a while, I tried to compose myself. Inevitably, this is where I was headed for anyway, so why not make it now. I trudged my way back home. I let out a soft sigh as I tried to memorize everything I could lay my eyes on. I don't know for how long, I don't know why I even accepted it. Within me, I had the answer, but I'm afraid all I had were premature reasons. Retreating to my bed, I felt a sense of nostalgia hovering over me. I looked at my phone. A few texted back, at least. I had to remember their faces, forgetting them was dreadful. I tried to sleep. It was the best option. It was heavy. And after almost 2hours, I finally got myself into sleeping. Probably my last here. :) Thanks. Thanks. Thanks.Labels: Events, Resurgences, Sadness
Rites.
Gad. It is Sunday already.Aatend ba ako? Pupuntahan ba kita? I still don't know. Still reeling from your tragedy. Our tragedy. Oh yes. Our tragedy. I still couldn't believe the entire incident. Although we've long talked of these, it never crossed my mind that it would be done. Although many attempts have been made, it never occured t0 me that one day, you would be that successful in it. I've long believed.. no. They've all believed that I was one of those reasons you weren't pursuing your plan. Hell. You were so desperate for it. And I dunno if I could ever forgive you. Or at least, for now. You always see to it that my decision was known to you. And I know they mattered. You've always said that I always come to your rescue. I liked the idea that I could help you as far as I could, even going overboard. Although sometimes, I may have grudged then that you weren't always there for me. Kasi naman.. Understandable still. Alam mo naman na hindi ako ma-confide na tao. And I wouldn't want to burden you even more. Between the two of us, incidentally, I was the stronger type. You had your worries, and I've had mine, but I didn't mind at all.Hell. I couldn't spit out the words. You didn't call me right there and then. I thought it was odd that you weren't texting, or bugging me for the last few number of days. Pinagaalala mo ako. Had I not asked around, I wouldn't have known all that has happened. Nalungkot lang ako. When I should have been there, I was not. I was joking all the time, " Hindi nga kita pinapakagat sa lamok e. Magsabi ka lang. Akong bahala. " Serious issues abound, yes. And if anyone would know the magnitude of those reasons, they could probably understand. But I do not. Probably, I won't. You could have leaned on me even for the last time. Pero ganyan ka e. Kung di pa ako mangungulit, di mo sasabihin.Selfish na kung selfish. At least ngayun lang. Madaya ka. Madaya ka lang talaga. Sarili mo lang iniisip mo. Di mo na inisip kapwa mo. Kahit ako lang. I've always dreamt of you finally overpowering me, so I could lean on you even for a fleeting moment. Still waiting for that. But I guess, you gave up. And the wait, is finally over.Hindi mo na binigyan ang sarili mo na mabago ang tingin ko sayo. Always the selfish type. Always. Ako naman ngayon. Hell. Again, I couldn't even speak. May bumabara sa lalamunan ko. Madaya ka. Leaving me of all these guilt. You've never seen me cry, I tried not to, in your presence, because I was afraid it would crumble my whole edifice. Mahina ka kasi. For sure, tumatawa ka diyan. Dahil mukha akong tanga. The hell I care. Galit ako sayo. And I've decided, di na lang ako pupunta. Saka na, pag mag-isa ka na lang. That way, masosolo na kita. Thinking of it, this could have been your way to end your pains. You forgot to ask me though, if I weren't paining as well. Nah. forget about it. This could be your way to repay me. You better guard me, and eye on me for always. :)Thanks for the laughter. And making me a worthy person. I wish we could have laughed on all your stuff for like forever. Pero, good things come to an end. Good people end as well. Nauna ka lang. Tsk. Kala mo, when I see you after a few good years, I'm gonna give you a good scolding, like you always get from me. And when I see that smirk on your face, I'll punch you in the gut. :-P Kita mo na, ngayun pa lang, namimiss na ata kita.Labels: Confusions, Death, Events, Sadness
The Streak
In a few hours, and finally, my state of being awake shall cease. Not counting the 45minute sleep I've managed earlier the day, and the less than an hour nap before office proper, this would by far account for the longest time I am conscious. The last time I've had normal sleeping was tuesday, up to 7pm. So. Had I heeded the call of my friends to join the centennial parade for tuesday, that would've meant death for me earlier. So. What have I done? - Tuesday Eve to Wednesday Dawn
- Went to work.
- Helped made a Ppt presentation. Of which will be in dire futility the morning afterwhich.
- Was commisioned for an OT, overtime, that is. And because I was Mr. Congeniality, I was all smiles. And an eye closed.
- More smiles. =) Di makapaghintay e. Yey.
- Wednesday Morning to Wed Evening
- Arrived home, past 7am.
- Was horrified to have made an error in my project. Blah. Finished it off.
- Made a new record. Ate breakfast, bathed, dressed up. All in less than 30minutes. I owe it to Mama. She was immediately stressed when I came home because she was the one who prepared the meal and my semi-formal suit. Hay. miss na kita, mama.
- 8:30am. Went to Yuchengco Museum. Come worst. My bag snapped. The heat was scorching. My eyes were tired. The bus gave up on us passengers, so thank you taxi cab. Thank you traffic. Thank you precious legs, I had to run. Thank you time, for going slow I was late for 40minutes.
- Thank you, A/C. I would've appreciated more had the room been a lot colder. Yeah.
- Had a fun time. Then went for a stroll, the Ayala way. I never imagined that being left alone with the tall buildings would be so enjoying. And then, I went to CAS. More yey.
- More strolling. And tired myself even more by briskly walking. Oh well, at least I was eating majestically.
- Went to a mass. Part of the day's itinerary. Kelangan magpasalamat.
- Dined with friends.
- Good times ahead. :-P
- Went to work.
*Notice the absence of "Slept"*
- Went home. 7:30am.
- Was scolded by dad. For slowly killing myself.
- Yey. 45minute sleep. Then made preparations for school.
- School.
- After-classes constituted some walking to and from, and window-shopping and lots of eating. And they were fun. But I was at the brink of shutdown. Symptoms? Feeling light-headed.
- Date with Blythe. Over pizza. But I was somewhere, virtually.
- Headed for work. And watched TV!
- Power nap.
- Now.
Right now, I yearn for sleep. What I would give for even a 4-hour sleep. Buti na lang talaga.
Labels: Events, List, Updates
A Few One-Liners
This may be sadistic, and I'm pretty sure that a few heads would turn and if they'd ever decode what the hell this one means, they'd readily jump over me and tear my temper from my flesh and bones. Haha. Kaya lang, I really just can't help it.I wish you'd "disband". Not the usual disband. Just go on doing your things in separate ways. Yeah, that would be less evil. I totally want you guys, and if ever I have time, I spent time just drifting away time with you. Excellence in the field I must say.Just separate. That'd be fine. I've nothing against you. But the hell, you affect my whole schedule! Whenever you appear in tinseltown, goodness, it elicits fear in me. Coz I know, something might happen and I shall be in anxiety mode again. I dunno. It's becoming a cycle. Or better yet, just go to foreign lands. Yun, pwede pa! Just away here. With that, you'd be giving me much much favor.Grabe. Ang sama ko na talaga. Haha. Labels: -ber, Events
Glorietta2: 10/19 is our 9/11
It's almost a day since that fateful afternoon. Who would have thought a nice stroll in the mall would turn nightmarish? I've read heavily described and vividly accounted for stories, and watched live feeds and amateur videos taken by survivors and eyewitnesses alike, and dang, they're just so depressing. .jpg)
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The people behind this, with their cohorts, they are all hellbound. But we could make them pay for their deedswhile they're still living. Just the thought of the 8 people killed and several injured must serve an inspiration for us to seek justice. Fast. 
If they had so thought that we and our institutions would be weakened, we ought to prove them wrong. We stand united, not just the Ayala Community, not just Makati, nor Metro Manila alone. The country will be as one. And by how America did it with their 9/11, we shall so. We shall prevail.
We will not fail Glorietta2.
*Photos uploaded from ABS-CBN Website
Labels: Events, Glorietta2, Mourning, Tragedy
Unleashing another Wave
I know it's already Oct 2. But I just couldn't contain myself. Weee.. *Puta, isip bata*
Well anyway, I've had my honest share of the Oct 1 event. I've heard a while ago that it's just barely 90 days before 2008. Uggh. That's an entire quarter, but I know that it wouldn't be long enough before then. Whew. Too fast. Damn too fast.
Anyway, again. Strike me that nearest scimitar. Oct 1 will definitely be marked in my calendar. Hmmmm...Yum.Labels: Events, Memories
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