Thursday, January 17, 2008

Ground State

I think it would just be normal, and apparently befitting that I'd be feeling a little sad and down. The day had been somewhat good and benign to me that there was little room for worries and the like. To add up, it would be normalcy just working on its own. What I mean is, after experiencing numerous hypes, spontaneities, highs and laughters, one must learn to go back to the ground state. Parang electron lang yan e. You would be injected an amount of energy, making one jolt to the excited state, afterwhich you are expected to go back to the ground state, as mentioned beforehand.
  1. Yay. I miss my mom. Si mama. I wanna be baby-ied again. In every sense of the word. Being this young adult could really get into the nerves. And rather frustrating. And it sucks, indeed. I just wanna crawl back to mama and bumuntot lang muna. Wala lang. And give her this really really big hug.
  2. I miss Randolfh. Again. For some absurd reason, having your twin just sitting beside you in the living room and laughing with you at all those Ace Ventura movies prove to be satisfying. And they add up to the sense of security.
  3. I miss the banana split.
  4. I miss doing text marathons. Talking incessantly over issues both important and insanely irrelevant is my cup of tea. I like conversing. And having that single message serving as a reply never failed to thrill me. Yey yey.
  5. I miss my soulmate. Tsk. Ikaw e. Fueled me to create this blog entry. I commiserate with you. La lang. Para at least, may kasama ka.
  6. I was really scared with that man directly opposite me in the jeep kanina. He was constantly coughing out the pain in his chest. I dunno. It elicited the fear in me. May naalala lang siguro ako. I once had respiratory ailments. And I think this is phobia already. :-(
  7. Lying, for the most of it, it makes me insane. Basta. Duwag lang talaga siguro ako. OR takot sa madaming bagay. At alam kong ako lang mag-isa ang haharap sa lahat ng iyon.
  8. I am a tad excited with what Rosa's gonna give me. This organizer she says. Rosa talaga o.My oh my. This shall mark the first time that someone's given me this gift, a rather useful one. Wala pala ako masyadong gifts last holidays. Oh well.
  9. I miss that little thing lurking inside the room. It was nice seeing you again.
  10. Ayoko ng ganitong pakiramdam ng pagkabusog. Naaaburido ako.
  11. The office commands a great deal of negativity. I just want to go home just now. Or go someplace else..
  12. I miss Lala. And her antics. Isa ka pala sa hinanap ko agad at the onset of classes.
  13. No matter how busy I seem to get, it's not the "busy" I really intend to be. It bugs me that sometimes, I just stare at blank space and do nothing when in fact I should be doing something.
  14. Time and again. Di naman galit. Just a little frustrated with why you have to leave me with this "ugali" I know I was never born with. It makes me cry sometimes. If I could just do away with it..
  15. Nadudurog lang ang puso ko sa kakasulat ng post na to. Wala lang. Not by any reason. Perhaps personal mishaps.
  16. I shall be heeding Ann's constant piece of advice. Sleep them away. And I'm a little sleepy na din, come to think of it.
  17. Kailangan ko nga talaga siguro ng doctor. The real one. Seriously. This time, pwera biro.
  18. After eons, it seems as though I'm still at this very same spot. Dumaan nga ba ang ilang taon?
  19. Sana may magtext. A quote? A personal hi and hello? A reassurance? A "long time no see"? Not being helpless, but rather needy. Just someone to talk to.
  20. UP. You have taken so much from me. My happiness. My stability. The kid in me.

I'm not sad. I'm just exhausted. Plus the negative ambience. Coupled with sheer, inert fear. And people have been quite sad, and I'm so not in the mood to buck that trend.

Good Evening. Happy smiles tomorrow. :)

posted by Randyh @ Thursday, January 17, 2008 Comments: 2